sweet-poo

Feeling very low

2009-03-07T22:29:28+01:00

Its bit late 3 am and i'm not able to go to my dream world. Feeling uneasy abt smthing. I shd say am feeling bit low rt-now. I realise 1 thing ur blog z ur true frnd. I waana keep writing. I got few frnds frm blog , they keep asking me for new entry on my blog. Really thanks to blogging for getting frnds.

I just finished movie "jugaad" still not feeling sleepy. So thought of writing smthing here.

So wats new... I got comments on my annual appraisals that I shd understand business and be professional. well i know why my team think that way for me. but smtimes i think i myself don't want to be like professional. I am not in gud mood. So i am gonna write bad things only. Smthing bad going on with me. My mom already warned me to wear one stone-ring but i avoided. I believe a lot in mom. She is smart and most important thing is she care a lot for family. She do beyond her limits to make her children happy. She is very active. And most important thing is we can talk abt nythng to mom and she tryies to listen first before reacting. So she belives a lot in Kundli stuff and hence she got to know abt my bad time and not only warned me but also told me d resolution. Well i avoided those things but now when i am sufeering i'm thinking back of wearing that stone.

Well i have smthing more interesting to write. So will post it later. Bye for now gud night.

They talk about layoffs

2008-12-23T10:16:42+01:00

Everywhere ther is news about layoff. I strongly disagree with the companies’ policy. As per my understanding if company is doing bad what MBA ppl who have been hired for finance thing doing? Can’t they predict the condition of economy. In my company they said no layoff and then they did layoff all of sudden. What the heck is this? Those MBA guys are highly paid. They have idea abt every quarter. How can they promise abt no layoff. What happen to ther calculations? How come they deny to ther promises.
Their work is just to see the economy of company to calculate loss and profit. Why don’t they do their job properly and tell the clear picture @ the starting of quarter only. Can’t they just inform ppl that we doing bad and search for new option instead of giving shock on the day of layoff. I hate those guys who work on company’s goal and finance and better they keep themselves away from me.
We are aware that our unit is doing exceptionally gud and as we are having so many customers. Financially our unit can employ more ppl. Still we asked our management abt economy going down and its impact on us. They promised us abt no layoff. We joined a small company, worked ther as family members and we know that financially our company is doing gud. But the layoff is beyond my calculation. And nobody had dared to explain me this.
Life changes it meaning. Things have changed for me atleast. For me life was easy going. Everything I dreamed of, I got. I don’t need to fight back for nything. All of sudden things got changed. I am nowhere, I have no control, I am lost in this world. I use to think I matter for my company. I am smthing here..I have my name, my work. I represent myself. They need me. I use to think my company thinks about my happiness and my work satisfaction and my view, vision and so many things. They want my life better. All of sudden I got to know I’m actually nothing just a slave.. Even if I’m right @ my points I have no power to make changes or ask for change. It’s a big difference between a private company and government. I you are against any policy, govt. gives full rights to express and it doesn’t impact ur salary or job. Ur job is permanent so u can go ahead and think of doing things that are different. But in private company its just ur Boss for whom everybody work. Noone is ready to go against him/her. Ur salary, ur job, ur facilities all depends wat ur manager thinks for u. I hate this.
Why smtimes u have no power. Why u can’t choose wat u want nd how u want. Why u just can’t decide wat matters for u. Why can’t u control things. Why always sm1 else is deciding ur fate. Its our country, our place , our city, our company. But still someone else is rulling me. Bcoz if I waana survive with all the pleasure I have to keep going on this culture.

Does she lost d meaning of her life?

2008-11-14T07:55:22+01:00

It hardly happens that sometimes u meet a stranger and u just can’t fail to remember him/her….u can’t eliminate his/her shadow frm ur mind. It happened with me once very freshly. After my US trip I decided to take myself away from this office and spend some quality time with my family. My brother already did my reservation I think because he can make out how homesick I feel if am away from my dad for so long (I can be wrong also). Friday 6.35PM and I started running right from cumsom restaurent @ station till platform number 2 last boggie. Ohh god, my brother only knows how come I talk so stupidly even when I’m in rush.On d way to board my train I was continuosly mummering smthing like…don’t worry I’ll catch bus for Gondia or I’ll catch next day train and bla bla..finally I got the train but as soon as I boarded, it started its jorney towards my home
8Pm, I started talking with my neighbour. She was beautiful and intelligent. For me I believe that intelligence somewhat reflects on ur face also. I may be wrong and u have total rights to disagree with me on this. We talked abt IT and guys in IT and then about marriages (btw this z common girls talk I shd say). As I was aware, that my parents will also discuss abt marriage @ home, marriage was d process that keeps running on my mind smwhere in the corner. She told me tat she loved a guy who work @ infy . Her love got started with the way she use to talk and tat guy too falled in love with her. She told me tat she was bindas when it comes to chat with nybody. I can judge it that… yes… she is bindas. I was stranger for her but she just started sharing a lot with me. But her bindass nature was gud till tat guy proposed her and she accepted. After that her love started thinking that she talks with every1 freely and that’s not acceptable. She shd limit herself. She agreed to that… giving reason that its true that @ some time in life u have to be specific…u can’t just share ur happiness or ur feeling with everybody..u r grown up now. U have to differentiate between frnds. Some shd be very close and sm shd be just frnds.
It was her first trip to her home town after breakup with that boy. I can’t write everything but it was very touching experience. May be becoz d way she putted it in front of me, I cant just forget it. She was a girl from a middle class family and @ every step of life she learned abt compromises. But still she dreamed of everything perfect for her. She too worked hard like other IT girls to get everything what she dreamed for. Coding day and night for the releases. But now her boyfrnd thinks that she can’t adjust with him. Right from not having 3-4 times coffe @ office becoz her boyfrnd noticed that she fall sick and coffe doesn’t suit her…..to…. not wearning d dresses tat he don’t like, …………. But this doesn’t matter now becoz she lost him but what about those compromises? Wat abt… that …she changed few things for smbody and now that smbody is nobody. @ this point she was like a broken mirror, she don’t know whats she z, wat is she suppose to do…she don’t know how to react on things. She can’t decide…. can she chat d way she want …can she dress d way she want ….
I don’t understand why ppl who r in love don’t understand each other or why don’t they first just accept each others d way they are. She got added to my yahoo messenger. We don’t talk often but yes she will wish me for all the occasions like ganesh festival or rakhi. I know she z a bold girl and can come up very early from all this. I just wanted to have this experience saved smwhere , so I can read it smtimes and miss that beatiful lady.

A magnificent song

2008-05-16T07:24:17+02:00

I was listning song “Dhadkhan jara rukh gayi hai”. Superb song…

cheharon ke mele me, chehare the gum

  yek cheharaa thaa mai, yek cheharaa the tum

  jaane kyaa, tum ne de diyaa

  muz ko jahaan mil gayaa

  Does anybody today seriously feel so satisfied by someone that a person gave him/her everything. I don’t know but I just think that the feeling that comes from song does that really exists in the human being.

  hothhon par baat rahe, baaton mein soor bahe

  suron mane geet wahee, tumhaaree hee baat kahe

  mit jaaoo sapanon kee aagosh mein

  bheeg jaaoo yaadon kee bauchhaar mein

  And a long pause after this will make u feel superb. I mean I feel like this.

  milate hee aankho ne, rishtaa pahachaanaa

  yehasaas seene me, saanson ne jaanaa

  choopake se, pyaar chhoo gayaa

  dilaa ke yek, janam nayaa

Seriously ppl in love can feel it. Everyday is new day if u in love with smone. It’s a relation that takes u so far. Far frm this world and its practicality. You start loving everything ur surrounding, nature, ppl around u.

Its only WORDS...

2008-04-09T13:14:31+02:00

Everybody knows the importance of word and they do use it suitably and duly. But I think I failed always. Not once or twice, almost always. I know words are important, but can’t ur behavior, ur thinking and as a person u.. can impress someone such that words get less importance compare to u (U -> a stupid creator of our almighty GOD, I must say this).

I love people, talking to them. And I trust that I know the tact of communication. Its my trust only with me..otherwise no one will agree to this not even my parents..well lets have a who cares!! Attitude to this. I don’t know where I read this…can’t remind now….but Murphy???

No matter how bad a situation is, if u can’t laugh at it, you are in really deep sh*t. interesting isn’t it?

In theory, everything …works. But for me life stops, go back and again I start from the same point, same road, same way, same misunderstandings, same headache, same pleasure too, like a train going to and fro. My bad, why I fail to avoid going to same path.I’m asking myself, do I need to change a lot…or I just need to change a little Why that change is not happening inside me. Why old things are repeating and repeating, bcoz of my words. My sole is lonely…my mind, my behavior and my words all r going in different direction. One thing is sure…I need to meditate…I heard and believe that meditation helps or I shd better say solves a lot.. lets try it out sincerely….2-5 minutes for only urself…I got 1 thing..that until u talk with ur inside sole in lonely u can’t carry urself d way u want. U have to walk d way ur sole want..u have to chat d way ur sole want …afterall end of d day….its not that ppl shd be happy…it has to be ur sole is happy … u did wat u wanted..u r being truly U. U shd wear what ur want to not what d tread is or not what everyone else z wearing. So better talk to urself. If someone doesn’t understand u its his/her fault but if u don’t understand urself then? U r in big problem. If nyone in this earth has said u did wrong that’s d way they feel. But if ur sole says u did wrong then? They may be right or wrong that’s their problem. But u did smthing and ur heart z not with u then that’s very ur problem and need a thought. Hey….ahh..i am lost….i am really lost now…wat am I speaking abt…does this make sense…(smtime its ok to think nonsense..i am not hurting nyone)….Its ur right to be stupid but that doesn’t mean u should be…ohh watever…I started with “words”. By d way I like this song….I’m not crazy…true?

Whatever lets end it here…If I’ll push it hard enough it’ll never end..this is true..we have to keep ignoring thoughts and things and keep on going. So at d end Happy Meditation to all. It works seriously.

New office?

2008-03-20T11:49:54+01:00

Long time no thoughts no blogs. Life train is going. My life is also a passenger of that train. A passenger without aim, I really don’t know my station to get down.

Sometimes life takes unexpected turns. The realization has come that the road through which you traveled with the person you loved has ended. This is I got from one of my friend. Although I never meet him but I know a lot abt him and recently he suffered a lot for his love and things are getting settle down. I wish to meet him.

Its just realization. Well we shifted to new office….new environment, interior of office is different and I like chage. Change in the way we live and change in d way we think, changing the dressing sense, chaging hairstyle, changing ur dreams.

And change is gud. That makes life going and actually speacking u njoy atleast I do. So new office but old-ppl, old talks and old constaints and old mindset. I wish I can forget smthing frm my past and I shd not have hard feeling for nyone. I really want to do that but when I’m upset I remind my old-office fights, and all those mis-understandings. Well one thing I learned from past. I want to live my lifecompletely like bachelors, no responsibility, no tension, no planning, freaking out nywhere nytime. And now I’m going to do that. Decided to join Aerobics classes for change and for coming out of all this.

I promise to come with few more interesting thoughts...I just want some time to write them down...

A flower in my room…

2007-10-30T05:52:12+01:00

I had a tough day and night….Almost I suffered from hell lots of pain and negative thinking. My eyes got heavy, I was almost silent….my mind my heart was silent…If I spoke that day/night just becoz of my brother.i don’t want he shd feel that I am suffering….although he knew everything. I wanted to walk alone in the road when it was dark. Well with all this feeling I came to my room…..i found that I don’t have keys so I have to ring the bell. My room mate opened the door. She told me that flowers in the table z for me. I was upset, I hardly concentrated on wat she said. I replied why and how?...her fiancé who just came back from UK had gifted me that sweet flower…well I never imagined flower from him. A red color flower(off course not rose…otherwise my room mate would have killed me)., with long stem and wrapped in the white color transparent plastic. In first look that flower looked me lonely just like me. I touched it and felt gr8. My tensions are gone. I was not thinking nay negative nymore. I liked tat flower very much. Thanks for giving it to me…..tat day I was so upset and that person gifted me a superb thing. I love flowers but now I don’t love them in bunch I love then if they r single. A single flower looks gr8. Independent, confident, sweet, ALONE, separate from crowd, always on waiting side. I will click and upload the snap of that lonely flower in the morning. I’m feeling relax now. Right now @ 9.41pm, in the dim light that flower is awesome. I think I can spend my life with them happily. They don’t speak but they teach u lot. They make u feel a lot withour saying a single word. Its amazing with any emotion in them they do such a gr8 job. Flowers are wonder made by God….No doubt in that