sweet-poo

After having a small but big discussion with one of my best friend in this universe, this is all going in my mind.

 I realized today that we all agree that CHANGE is gud and CHANGE is permanent…We all agree that we have to face the CHANGE no matter CHANGE is gud or bad, we have to accept it by default. We can’t run away from CHANGE.

 We admire CHANGE becoz it brings flavors, colors in life…same is the case with me also. I too use to think that CHANGE is gud otherwise life will be boring. But I realized it 2day that….I say like this…but when it comes to me…I am not ready to CHANGE myself….I don’t know why..but when I read my past I can collect situations where I failed to CHANGE for me.

 And when I am realizing it, it was too late. Today I am in need of a software which can read my mind and tell me whether I am a gud person or bad. Wat r d loop holes in me. What r those things that are in P1 priority for me to CHANGE otherwise I’ll loose smthing in my life. By heart I don’t want to loose anything but I am unable to stop it. If I can CHANGE myself I think it’ll work. But why I’m not changing. I think, I believe, I judge, I conclude, I choose but I fail to implement/execute it. I just want a software to remind me to implement this. Software that endlessly go on monitoring me and notify me d situation where I need to respond different so that I can’t mess up things. If I’m getting angry or I’m doing wrong that software will popup and warn me. I tried to do it without any software but I can’t. Becoz u can’t chage ur nature.

 Lets explore out where I’m falling. There is one situation in my day to day life @ office that will come almost daily. And my reaction to that situation is pre-defined by my mind so I react in that way. Now after my 2-3 reaction on that same situation on the same way. CHANGE occurs. To accept this CHANGE I have to program my mind to react to the same situation but keep in mind that things have been CHANGED, some environmental components are being CHANGED. But what is happening is as I am reacting on the same way only becoz its fast and probably…I am use to it. And after reacting, it strike me that CHANGE has occurred and I forgot to keep this in mind. Now how shd I avoid this????I want some program configured to tat situation so that it will remind me of the CHANGE.

 Right now I’m struggling with myself why I’m not accepting this CHANGE. I am seriously helpless. I want to make things work and its me only who will mess up everything. Really mess up everything. I’ll make my own ppl angry. I’ll make my own ppl to go away from me. Smthing like I’ll myself make my breath to stop, I myself make me angry, I myself will hit my head.

 If I got that software, I’ll make all the entries in that s/w about the different different situation and the expected response or a message pop-up. So @ proper time I’ll behave properly. I remember I asked some highly technical guy @IBM who was telling me abt his 10 filled patents related to software… “that is it possible to read human mind through s/w”. And he said YES. “A software can read human mind”. Now I am w8ing for that software to come in market.